Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers
by Cheeto
Posted on 17 August 2021
Rating -
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers is a 1989 American slasher film, co-written and directed by Dominique Othenin-Girard. It is the fifth installment in the Halloween series, stars Donald Pleasence, and Danielle Harris, and continues the “Thorn Trilogy” story arc from Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers and concluding with Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers. The film follows Michael Myers returning to Haddonfield to murder his niece, Jamie, one year after she was institutionalized for trying to murder her foster mother.
I’m not going to beat around the bush with this review, this movie is trash. I am, or atleast was, a HUGE Halloween fan. I used to watch all of the films all of the time, but not this one. This is because I heard things about it, but one day I decided to suck it up and watch it. I actually feel sorry for putting my eyes through this, this is not a good film, infact I’d go as far to say that this is one of the worst films ever made.
First off, people don’t flock to cinemas to watch slashers for the brillaint story writing, or the great cinematography. They watch them becuase they are fun, you don’t have to think about them, and most importantly; they’re entertaining. This film doesn’t have any of these, and when a slasher film doesn’t have any of these, then it’s a RIP.
As you already know, this film is extremely boring, the characters are dull, and the action non-existant. Talking about the characters (SPOILERS), the great ending to Halloween 4; in which Jamie kills her mother, it’s totally retconned. Jamie hasn’t killed her mother, she instead injured her. She lives in a clinic and she is now a mute. I mean, WTF? It’s not Danielle Harris’ fault, but the character of Jamie is diabolical. She is totally different than how she was in 4, and for the whole film, she has this thousand yard stare, it’s actually laughable. Ellie is killed off after like 20 minutes, yes the brilliant, strong protector of Jamie in 4, it’s actually insulting. It’s not even a graceful death, Michael just comes in and stabs her in the neck. Dr. Loomis is terrible in this film, he is crazy, and not in the good way. He’s a total creep, this is a totally different person than in the previous films.
The ‘action’ scenes are laughable too, half the kills in this film are off screen. Normally in slashers, if the characters are likeable then it’s a gut punch when they’re killed, on the other hand; if they’re annoying, then it’s very much welcomed to see them die. The characters in this film are invisable (figure of speech), and they don’t evoque any emotions in me when they’re killed, instead I’m thinking ‘I can’t wait for this film to finish’.
Going back to the characters; this film features the worst character in the history of film… TINA… She is so annoying that I literally nearly turned off the film. She was meant to be the new Ellie in this film, she doesn’t even deserve to be in the same sentence as Ellie. Ellie was strong, courageous and tough, Tina is just diabolical, and I couldn’t wait for her to face her destiny with Michael. Speaking of Michael, Don Shanks is easily the worst Michael Myers there’s ever been. He is sort of just a dumb zombie the whole time, you could literally get any Joe off of the street, put the costume on them, and they’d of played him better. Also, the mask is ridiculous.
The ending to this film is terrible, Dr. Loomis traps Michael under this tarp thing and Michael apparently dies? Dr. Loomis also appears to die of a heart attack, and the two’s body’s just lay there. To be honest with you, I just laughed at the whole scene.
Overall; this film is ludicrous, it totally makes a mockery of the franchise. I’m pretty sure anyone with an IQ of over 1 could make a better movie. I would say don’t watch this, but do, just so you can see how not to make a movie.
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